As we’re approaching the New Year, many of us start to think about New Year resolutions. Personally, I’m not a fan of the ‘New Year, new you’ mentality. It’s implying that the old you wasn’t good enough. I much prefer to think of it as ‘New Year, better you’ to focus on bringing out your best. Lolita fashion is a big part of my life, so I make resolutions just about that for the New Year. For those looking to incorporate Lolita more in 2018, here are some pointers in creating your own goals.
Lolita is a fashion, so a big part of it is about acquiring pieces. And if you can afford and want to do so frequently, do! At the same time – Lolita is a fashion and so you need to wear it. Sometimes you may have to pick between buying something and going to a meetup. Aim to wear your frills more in the New Year by eliminating non-urgent purchases. The cost of going out could be the same as buying a second hand item. A meetup won’t happen again, but you can still purchase things later. If in doubt, see if what you’re thinking of buying will fit your Lolita wardrobe. If it doesn’t, spend that money on an afternoon tea with your friends or a large event later in the year. Experiences are priceless and most purchases are not irreplaceable, so make happy, frilly memories in the New Year.
Speaking of wearing things – you know that piece that you bought forever ago, but still haven’t worn? The one you feel like you need a special coord before wearing it out? Or the one that doesn’t quite match your wardrobe and therefore struggle to coordinate, but still love it? Make it a point to wear it in the New Year. If it spends all its life on a hanger looking pretty then it’s a waste. The truth is, you don’t need a special fancy coordinate to wear that piece. You can still work on one, but a simple outfit will make you just as happy. In the New Year forget any superficial restrictions you’ve put on yourself and simply enjoy wearing the things you have. Trust me, you won’t regret it and it will get your creative coordinating juices flowing.
There’s no better time than now to improve your skills. Don’t be overambitious to begin with, but there’s a lot you can do already. Wanted to be better at makeup? Maybe you’d like to ditch wigs, but are stuck for cute hairstyles to do with your own hair? Wanted to make your own clothes or accessories? Whatever it is, the New Year is a perfect opportunity to become better at it. You don’t need to do much: do something small once a week. You could go from beginner to master by doing one kind of hairstyle once a week for a year. Or go from ‘can’t use the machine’ to ‘made my first item’ by starting with doing straight stitches on scrap fabric. This is bound to impress and make you feel more accomplished when you unveil you skills at a meetup.
Now, not everybody aspires to be a lifestyle Lolita and everyone defines it differently. However, I believe that life should be enjoyed and finding joy in little things makes ordinary daily routine much nicer. Think what’s within your time, financial and skills constraints that you could do on a regular basis. For some it’s a monthly letter exchange with a pen pal. For others it’s an elegant breakfast at the weekend with china tea cups and no distractions. Anything that makes you feel fancier, more ladylike or simply more Lolita will enhance your connection with the fashion. Even if the regularity doesn’t last in the New Year, just do it when you remember. It will still improve your well-being and your 2018.
In the 2015 Cinderella the protagonist lives by the rule to ‘have courage and be kind’. I’m not trying to say that Lolitas are horrible, but I think all of us could do with spreading a little bit more kindness. The little things, even if they seem meaningless, are one way of doing that. You see a coord you like on social media? Don’t just like and leave, write a complimentary comment. There’s a new indie brand selling items you like? Purchase something, however small, to support them. Have good memory and always check second hand sales? Join a dream dress search thread and help others. Or if you’re at a meetup and see someone new, say hello, make them feel more at ease. We are the change that we wish to see in our community. If we all did a little bit more of that in the New Year, maybe we could help weaken the ‘mean Lolita’ stereotype just a little.
Whatever you would like to accomplish in the New Year, I wish you all the best of luck with that. I will certainly try to implement some of my own advice and then some. Because I don’t just want to be a part of the Lolita fashion community – I want to give back to it too, however I can.
Happy New Year, everyone!
29-year-old Capricorn, Polish-born, UK-based and in love with Japanese fashion (predominantly Lolita). I enjoy a good bargain, OTT coords, cats and baking, and when in Japan I’m a self-confessed purikura addict. When I don’t blog, I work in the education sector, overseeing international exchange programs, and sometimes I get to do some exciting freelance translations on the side.
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